So a friend got me reading her daughter's blog, and I thought..."whatever has happened to my blog?!" So, I checked and it's still here. I'm pretty sure its given up hope of ever being updated. But, alas, here I am! I have so much drama going on in my household that I really don't know where to begin. But, I am here, and for now, I am back with a vengeance...or so I think. I just have to get this first awkward post out of the way, cuz' for some reason, I feel I have to explain my absence to those of you who don't even know I have a blog or aren't even reading this blog anymore. It's okay...really it is!
Anyway, I will be back. And even if it's just me who gets a thrill out of this blog, I will write. I think it will be good therapy for me. I've been through quite a journey and I'm still traveling on its road. If I were writing a play, I would find the character climbing up to the climax of the story...going through the day to day, patiently waiting to see what will become of it all. The character would find herself wondering why she was going through such and such, why that didn't work out, and when it will ever get any better. She knows there is a bigger picture, but finds herself overwhelmed with the big picture because she's barely making it in the smaller picture. Something big is about to happen, but it seems to be taking forever for the climax to reach her.
This is me and where I am at in my life right now. I have good days and then there are bad days. On the good days, I am able to push my fears, insecurities, and worries to the side and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other. On the bad days, I am drowning in those fears, insecurities and worries...struggling for a breath, struggling to keep my head above water. I know God sees the whole where I can only see the part. I know His ways far outreach my own. I know He has big plans for me and soon He will reveal the answers to all my questions. I know all of this in my head, but my heart longs for answers and, to be honest, some quick fixes to all of life's problems.
Anyway, I guess this became a bit of raw emotion...they're the real deal, tho. I guess this blog will reflect where I am at in this journey. And like me, I'm sure there will be good days and not so good days. I'm just gonna put it out there, why not, right??!! It's not like this is gonna be out there for the whole wide world to read...oh, wait
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