Four

My little Zach has turned four today! I woke him up today with a party hat on my head blowing one of those little honking noise makers, and singing "Happy Birthday." I admit is was a bit annoying, but it sure was fun to see his face when he realized it was his birthday. He immediately jumped out of bed wanting his birthday cake and his presents! He takes after his ole mom on that one!! He was so excited and kept running around the house this morning decalring. . . "It's my birthday! Happy birthday to me! I am four!"

Almighty God

In the midst of play practices, doctor appointments, getting my house ready for company tomorrow, and church campaigns-I was quieted by God this morning. With all the busyness of my life right now, I needed to be calmed by God's quiet voice. I love how God always seems to have just the right verse at just the right moment in time or how He plans my devotions to correlate with the events in my life.

Today I was reminded of God's greatness. There are times when I get myself into situations that are bigger than me. I fret, I worry, I stress, and I lose hope. How comforting to know that there is no situation so great that God is not greater still. He knows me, He cares about me, He stregnthens me, and He helps me. God is always there and God can do anything!

So, as I face the mountains of my to-do list, I know that Almighty God is on my side. What is huge to me, is nothing in God's eyes. Through Christ, I can do all things!!

We Made It!

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of Austen with hearing aids. The day came and went without a big scene, but as I reflected on this time last year I couldn't help but thank God for helping us learn how to cope and for allowing us to survive.

When Austen was five we noticed that he wasn't speaking very clearly, but everyone seemed to think that it was a phase and he would out grow it. But, as he entered kindergarten, his teacher mentioned that he couldn't form certain letters no matter how hard tried. She had suggested taking him to a speech therapist, and the speech therapist recommended that he have a hearing test taken. So, in December of 2005, he had his first hearing test. He flat-lined it, meaning he wasn't hearing properly. Our doctor put him on certain medications to see if that would clear any fluids in his ears, but within that month nothing had changed. The result was having tubes put in his ears in February of 2006. We were certain this would work, but to no avail. Austen's second hearing test had no improvements. We were recommended to a children's hearing specialist where we received the news. Austen had moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears, and we later found that it was a genetic disorder called Connexion 26. He needed hearing aids. I remember being completely shocked and stunned. My first reaction was to blame myself that I hadn't caught it sooner, then I was angry that my son had a disability, and then I was heartbroken. My poor "baby" had to have hearing aids!!

We received the hearing aids on April 19, 2006. They were big, chunky, and awkward in my eyes. But, Austen was astounded at all the noises he could hear. As we were traveling back home, he kept saying his hearing aids sounded funny. I inspected them, but couldn't find the problem. We realized the noise wasn't his hearing aids, but the tires hitting the pavement.

On the first day at school with his hearing aids, we had show and tell. The kids all thought that Austen's hearing aids were the coolest things! Some thought Austen was a robot, and some thought he could hear people's thoughts with them.

But slowly, the newness of the hearing aids wore off. Those that didn't know Austen or didn't know about our on going problem would ask him about the hearing aids, and this started to bother Austen causing him to not want to wear the aids. He fought us over wearing them, and over a period of time he became withdrawn and secluded himself from people. He was embarrassed by them and hated the attention always being focused on them. I remember taking him to the park one afternoon, and watched him sitting on a swing watching everyone play. I told him to go make a friend and he just nodded "no." Before that day,he had been an outgoing little boy who had never met a stranger. And on that day, he was sitting all alone. As a mother, I wanted to rip the hearing aids out of his ear and let him go back to how it used to be. I didn't want him to be different, I wanted my bubbly little boy back. I can remember thinking how we would ever get through this. How was this disability ever going to be a normal part of our lives?!

Last month marked a significant milestone. Austen accidentally jumped in the shower one night with his hearing aids. My husband got a little upset and quickly told him to get them off. Austen was upset because he thought we were mad at him. He came into my bedroom and apologized. He said, "Mom, I just forget that I am wearing them!" The next morning he said, "I just love wearing my hearing aids, Mom, because I can hear so good!"

It was then that I realized that Austen with all his hearing problems and his hearing aids had become part of our lives. We had adapted and we had learned to go on with our lives.

I don't know why God has allowed this to happen to Austen, and I may never know. But, through all of this, we have learned about God's goodness. He has provided funds to help pay for medical bills, great conversations within our family, and compassion towards all those with disablities.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." I know that God has great plans for Austen and I am excited to see how He will use Austen because of this disability!

Second Rate

So, this past weekend I had an opportunity to play a character I was meant to play. . . THE QUEEN of the Princess Ball. Every other year our church has a Princess Ball, in which the little girls get all dressed up and are excorted by their fathers to the ball. I was asked to be the Queen of Etiquette. Yes, I did say etiquette-Never mind the fact that I had to "google" the word etiquette to get tips to teach the princesses. Anyway, I got all dressed up in my royal apparel(complete with tiara and wand), and had my hair and make-up done.

I went to the ball and it was so refreshing to be around so many little, dainty girls. They hung on my every word, eager to learn how to be mannerly, which rarely happens with my boys. After my etiquette leasson, I walked around the ball during dinner reminding them to use their manners. After their dinner was over, they were so proud to show me how they had arranged their utensils on their plate to show the waiter they were done with dinner, and they blotted their little mouths ever so gracefully. At this ball, I was treated like a queen! I was somebody.

I was so excited to go home and tell Mark all about my night. I remained in my royal apparel so he could gaze upon my queenly beauty. I arrived home before him, so I waited ever so patiently for my Prince Charming to arrive. At last, he was there! He walked to our bedroom and smiled. I jumped up and ran to him, to which he replied, "Did you see what is in the barn?!"
To which I replied, "No, Mark, but do you see me in my queenly apparel?" He looked at me, and said, "Yes, you look nice, but I just bought a horse. Come on, let's go out to the barn and see it!"

It was at that moment I realized, even with all my royal glory, I was second rate to our newly aquired pet. Oh, to be at the Ball with all my little Princesses. Oh, to be somebody, again!!

Amy Oakley rides again

One of the perks of working on a horse farm is that we are able to ride the horses. I am not a horse lover, but horses are my husband's passion. On occassion, I will actually ride a horse with Mark, which makes him super happy. It is his goal in life to make me a cowgirl. I really don't mind riding, but there is noone to watch the boys. So, I don't get the chance to ride very often.

Last night, my husband put on his little pouty eyes and asked me if I would ride one of the horses he is trying to get ready for a lesson this weekend. I wasn't really wanting to ride, but I haven't ridden for almost 2 years, and I knew it would make Mark's night! So, I rode for about 30 minutes and actually had alot of fun. The boys played in the tack room and watched me ride, and they thought I was pretty cool. Of course that didn't last for very long. . .

Anyway, I thought I would post a picture of me riding Casey. He is a beautiful horse-the picture doesn't do him justice. I made a deal with Mark that I would ride with him at least once a week. I figure this could be a little hobby that we share with each other. And who knows, maybe this will make Mark want to attend more plays with me!!

Shining Stars

I love how God specifically speaks to me. This verse caught my eye last week, but I have been so touched by this verse that I am making it my "Verse for the Week."

Philppians 2:15
". . . so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life. . ."

I am invovled in a prayer group at school, mostly students. We meet every Tuesday and pray specifically for revival in the school and for opportunities to share our faith with those in the school who need Jesus' salvation. Lately, the group has been a little discouraged because the numbers in the group have been low, we haven't seen a lot of answered prayers, and we don't seem to see lot of fruit from our shared faith. When I saw this verse I thought of this beloved prayer group.

Number One, I love that I am encouraged to shine like a star. The drama queen in me, gets this verse!! But, instead of shining for myself, I am shining for Jesus!

Number Two, I see that no matter the circumstance, I am commanded to shine like stars. Regardless of the low numbers at prayer meeting, the "seemingly" unanswered prayers or the fruitless encounters, I am commanded to keep on shining. We must be the stars that help light this dark world. We must not give up or get discouraged-we must keep on shining.

I would love for you all to pray for this group at CBA that they would not be discouraged but keep doing what is right. And I would love for you to pray for a student that desperately needs to open his heart to Jesus-Mitch. Please pray that Mitch's eyes will be open to the love God has for him inspite of his past.

Alfred Hitchcock's THE BIRDS II

I walk into the house after an exhausting day, put my groceries on the counter and prepare to put the groceries away. Meanwhile, Austen is digging into the new snacks and Zach runs to the bathroom. Zach runs back into the kitchen saying the bird in the bathroom scared him. I'm thinking, "Bird? What bird? He must be telling me one of his stories." So, I walk to the bathroom door, all the while asking him about the littlel birdie. I stop at the door and peer in. All of a sudden, this mammoth bird flies over my head!! Those who know me, know that I am deathly afraid of birds-I hate them! I think it all started with that BIRD movie by Hitchcock. Anyway, as you can imagine, I screamed and ran to my bedroom, where I proceed to lock the door (just in case the bird was going to try to get in my room). As I shut the door, I thought to myself: I am bigger than this bird. I am an adult woman. I must be brave for the sake of my children. I am going to go get that bird out of my house! So, I muster all the strength that I have and open the door. I creep into the living room, where the bird is crouched on my lamp looking at me. I truly believe the bird was waiting for me, honestly! I look at the bird, the bird looks at me. Then, it starts flapping it's wings and starts flying around my living room like a crazy bird. Being the adult woman, I scream bloody murder and run back to the safety of my room and children.

By now, my heart is beating fast, my pulse is racing-I am a terrified woman! I call Mark- my rock, my stronghold-who apparently doesn't know me very well. He suggests that I go get the fish net we have in our entry way and proceed to catch the bird. What?! He wants me to go catch the bird in a net? Are you kidding me?! I am a grown woman, who has locked herself in her bedroom. You want me to go catch a bird?!! So, I wait for Mark to arrive, which seemed to take forever.

Meanwhile, my icecream is melting because I left it on the counter. So, I again, muster some courage to go back into the kitchen to put my ice cream away. I ever so gingerly open the bedroom door, and tiptoe into the kitchen. The bird is flapping away in the living room, and hit the wall-I beleive in attempts to scare me and keep me in my bedroom-it is a very controlling bird! So, I jump, scream, and run back to the bedroom-the ice cream can wait. I certainly don't want to upset the bird or make it angry-who knows what powers this bird has and the what harm it can do to me.

I'm waiting, patiently for my husband to come home, when I hear some thumping noises in the living room. I thought the bird was knocking things over on my walls on purpose of course. I begin to open the door, when a loud bang hit the door. I scream at the top of my lungs because I know for sure the bird has found my safe haven and is attacking the door to get in and get me.

Behind the door, I hear laughter. Knowing that birds can't laugh, I soon realize that my husband has come home and has rid our house of the monsterous bird. He thought it would be funny to play a little trick on his poor, defenseless wife.

How did he get the bird out, you may ask? He opened the door and it flew out.

Here is a picture of the bird that was in my house. Granted, it is not the exact bird. My bird was much more menancing looking, and had the look of revenge in his eyes. But, you get the picture. . .