We Made It!

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of Austen with hearing aids. The day came and went without a big scene, but as I reflected on this time last year I couldn't help but thank God for helping us learn how to cope and for allowing us to survive.

When Austen was five we noticed that he wasn't speaking very clearly, but everyone seemed to think that it was a phase and he would out grow it. But, as he entered kindergarten, his teacher mentioned that he couldn't form certain letters no matter how hard tried. She had suggested taking him to a speech therapist, and the speech therapist recommended that he have a hearing test taken. So, in December of 2005, he had his first hearing test. He flat-lined it, meaning he wasn't hearing properly. Our doctor put him on certain medications to see if that would clear any fluids in his ears, but within that month nothing had changed. The result was having tubes put in his ears in February of 2006. We were certain this would work, but to no avail. Austen's second hearing test had no improvements. We were recommended to a children's hearing specialist where we received the news. Austen had moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears, and we later found that it was a genetic disorder called Connexion 26. He needed hearing aids. I remember being completely shocked and stunned. My first reaction was to blame myself that I hadn't caught it sooner, then I was angry that my son had a disability, and then I was heartbroken. My poor "baby" had to have hearing aids!!

We received the hearing aids on April 19, 2006. They were big, chunky, and awkward in my eyes. But, Austen was astounded at all the noises he could hear. As we were traveling back home, he kept saying his hearing aids sounded funny. I inspected them, but couldn't find the problem. We realized the noise wasn't his hearing aids, but the tires hitting the pavement.

On the first day at school with his hearing aids, we had show and tell. The kids all thought that Austen's hearing aids were the coolest things! Some thought Austen was a robot, and some thought he could hear people's thoughts with them.

But slowly, the newness of the hearing aids wore off. Those that didn't know Austen or didn't know about our on going problem would ask him about the hearing aids, and this started to bother Austen causing him to not want to wear the aids. He fought us over wearing them, and over a period of time he became withdrawn and secluded himself from people. He was embarrassed by them and hated the attention always being focused on them. I remember taking him to the park one afternoon, and watched him sitting on a swing watching everyone play. I told him to go make a friend and he just nodded "no." Before that day,he had been an outgoing little boy who had never met a stranger. And on that day, he was sitting all alone. As a mother, I wanted to rip the hearing aids out of his ear and let him go back to how it used to be. I didn't want him to be different, I wanted my bubbly little boy back. I can remember thinking how we would ever get through this. How was this disability ever going to be a normal part of our lives?!

Last month marked a significant milestone. Austen accidentally jumped in the shower one night with his hearing aids. My husband got a little upset and quickly told him to get them off. Austen was upset because he thought we were mad at him. He came into my bedroom and apologized. He said, "Mom, I just forget that I am wearing them!" The next morning he said, "I just love wearing my hearing aids, Mom, because I can hear so good!"

It was then that I realized that Austen with all his hearing problems and his hearing aids had become part of our lives. We had adapted and we had learned to go on with our lives.

I don't know why God has allowed this to happen to Austen, and I may never know. But, through all of this, we have learned about God's goodness. He has provided funds to help pay for medical bills, great conversations within our family, and compassion towards all those with disablities.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." I know that God has great plans for Austen and I am excited to see how He will use Austen because of this disability!