Aha!!

   I love "Aha" moments.
   Had one just this morning... I tend to be a worryer. I worry about how much I am worrying. It's sick, I know! I also tend to place unrealsitic expectations on myself. I must be a perfect wife and mother in all I do. My house must be spotless. I must be funny and witty at all times. I must wear fashionable clothes. I must have great looking furniture. I must run everyday. I must lose weight. The list goes on. If these are not attained, then I am a failure! I not only place these expectations on myself, but I place them on others as well. I don't have high expections on people, but I think they have high expectations of me. Even sicker, I know!! So, not only do I think I have to act a certain way, I think that you think that I should act that way too!
   The dilelma?? I worry about measuring up against MY expectations and also YOURS! And let's face it...NO ONE is that good! Although, I would go down trying!
   So, I read in Philippians 4:6, "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns." God knows my worries, but He likes to hear those worries spoken by me...and when I do speak aloud of these worries, "a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down." I like that...settle me down. I need that! Stop worrying about measuring up, stop trying to do it all on your own! Let God help you! So that was good to read and be to reminded of.
   But, as I continued to read on...I noted Philippians 4:12-13. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Okay, so I may not have everything that I want in life...can or will I be content with what I do have? When I place my worries into prayers, he helps me see that I reaaly don't have that much to worry about-He's gonna take care of me and settle me down. And just maybe, the things that I am worrying about aren't really worth worrying about anyway.
   And then, of course, I read on...and here is where I get my "AHA" moment... Philippians 4 :19 "You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need." Ah, so when I take my worries to God, I realize that I may not have everything that I want, but God WILL take care of my NEEDS! Look around, you have A LOT already-sure, there are things I want...but God is taking care of my needs, and the wants will just be bonuses (if and when they come).
   The high expectations that I place on myself and think everyone else has placed on me, as well...are ridiculous-it's time I let them go and give them to God. If I allow Him to adjust my eyesight, I will learn to be content in whatever condition I am in. He promises to give me that strength to be content. Then, when I am fixated on God, I will see that He is giving me exactly what I need!! I don't think this will be an easy process. I think it will be something that I will have to give over to Him constantly. It is a process, afterall, I am still human-not perfect, yet! But, I believe if I am willing to die to myself, die to my expectations, die to my wants-God will show me what I need, and I will want accept it. Again, not easy, but that's where Christ comes in as my powerhouse! Ultimately, I want to be closer to HIM...if it requires giving up ME then, give me the strength to that, Lord!!